Sometimes in life, even when you feel you have done everything well or even right, things go wrong. Marriages fail, loved ones pass on, jobs are lost, kids (and parents) disappoint, and real estate deals fall part.
But it is so important to keep it all in perspective. Stress can cause so many negative things to happen on so many levels..physical, emotional, spiritual, that it's a wonder more people around us are not hospitalized every day. You can read an article about stress and all that it can cause.
I once had a real estate question for our in house attorney. It was a one of those "what if?" scenarios. Yes I was worried. I had done everything correctly and still I was worried. I know we live in a litigious society and almost anyone can sue for almost anything. The attorney talked me through the what ifs and in the end he said. "Barb, there is nothing more you can do right now. I can tell you this. The outcome that you are imagining is not nearly as bad as you think." Those words had quite a calming effect on me.
Although I still had to wait it out I knew it was nothing compared to someone waiting for the results of a biopsy or waiting to hear if their son or daughter was coming home from war.
So whatever it is that you do in life, try not to let the stress get to you. Find a way to deal with it. Talk to those who love you and they will give you encouragement.
Do not stress out over your real estate deals. Do your job well, of course, but do not stress over it. It is not worth the price you may pay.
Better yet, put in in God's hands. He is waiting for it.
If you would like to buy or sell a home in the southern communities of Cleveland Ohio, please call me at 440-263-7496, or you may want to visit my website for more specific information on the communities I service: Brecksville Ohio Real Estate, Broadview Heights Ohio Real Estate, North Royalton Ohio Real Estate Independence Ohio Real Estate, Seven Hills Ohio Real Estate, Parma Ohio Real Estate, Parma Heights Ohio Real Estate and Middleburg Heights Ohio Real Estate. Information is obtained from Neohrex and is deemed reliable but not guaranteed.
Good advice, Barb, but sometimes easier said than done. I think because we all care so much about doing the right thing and making our clients happy, that things can at times become stressful. I suppose that when you look at the big picture in life, a real estate transaction is really not worth stressing over.
It is definitely easier said than done, especially when you feel you are not at fault. Very difficult but we have to keep things balanced.
Great points.. I have always tried to do my best...and to be honest while I was doing it...and to ask questions when it seemed "grey" to make sure I wasn't getting in over my head. I won't say I don't stress but I know I am better now about putting it in to the proper perspective!
Thanks for the great post!
I understand what your saying and I know your right... BUT... I find it difficult some times not to stress a bit, especially with sellers. Sometimes I just need to take a breath and know I am doing everything I can do market their home. :)
Barb, you are so right. It took me a long time to not stress over my clients problems. I do my job and most of the time things work out. If they don't, I know it wasn't my fault.
Barb - it is always good to put things into perspective. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Barb - I think you're singing to the choir on this one. It doesn't matter what kind of real estate or mortgage superstar you are, you are not exempt from the occassional failed deal (or more often ordeal these days). Having the occassional transaction fall apart or get cancelled is does not make you a failure - it makes you human. Life is not perfect and sometimes bad things happen to good people.
Thanks for the information and reminder that stress is bad for health, and agree with Donne, bad things happen to good people.
Deborah, I've gotten better at it too.
Jared, When the buyers loan falls through at the last minute and the seller has moved out of a home he thought was sold...way stressful, but the sellers is stressed out enough. We are the ones that have to keep it together, and I know you are good at that.
Jen, Always better when it's not our fault:)
Mike, I have always liked that saying!
Donne, I couldn't agree more..it's all in how we then handle it.
Marilyn, I know I don't eat as much chocolate as I used to LOL
'
Good post Barb that helps put our work in perspective. I think many of us Realtors share a misguided belief that we need to take on our clients stress to be doing our jobs to the maximum. In reality we just need to do our jobs as well as we can. The stress part doesn't do anyone any good. All that being said I must confess that I'm a pretty big offender. Is it too late for another New Year's resolution?
Oh my GOODNESS! So well said, Barb. Thank you for taking the time to remind us to keep things in perspective!!!
Such a timely post! Just this month I have recently experienced 2 people in my life who have suffered strokes. That coupled with the tragic news of the young Canadian figure skaters mother, who recently past, has made me stop and take a long hard look at the direction of my life.I think everyone needs to take control of their health, both physical and mental. We are experiencing not only the stress of our jobs and families,but due to the times we are encumbering ourselves with the problems of our clients. Turn off your cell phones and computers at a reasonable time and take time for your family and take time for yourself. This is not a dress rehearsal.
Hi Mark, It's never too late for another resolution, especially one that is about your own health!
Cindy, I have been to about 8 funerals in the past 3 months, all different ages, the youngest about 27.
Sanna. I love your last line. This is not a dress rehearsal. Words to live by. I am following my own advice, eating healthier and back to exercising. I want to be around to see my daughter into adulthood.
Hi Barb,
Stress really is a killer. We all need to make sure we find our ways to keep balance in life and stress at manageable levels.
For me, it's yoga, hiking and ----- laughing! (I tend to forget to laugh enough)
Very good post! I think alot of agents get too stressed out but putting things into perspective is always helful. I used to worry about alot more when I was new to the biz than i do now. When I do get frazzled, I stop myself, take a few deep breaths and remember that whatever the issue is, it's not that big of a deal in the scheme of things!
Barb,
Great post, like Sister Carita said, "Don't sweat the small stuff, it is all small stuff!" Like Lotte, we love yoga as a destresser, and yes we do need to laugh more!
So true....it's fine to be upset when we do something wrong, but more often it is out of our control, move on.
Thank you for the reminder...I am stressing over a deal RIGHT NOW. I have to calm down, it does not do me or my client any good for me to be upset.
We are just the intermediary in every transaction. We do not control the actions of either party. We are not a party to the transaction....We are a facilitator to the deal.
There, now I feel better!
I love this post. In the past I have really stressed over a transaction as it has seemed to take me through more twists and turns than a corkscrew roller coaster ride. After days or even weeks of that feeling of flying by the seat of your pants with you hair on fire in a late model run away Toyota, the transaction closed anyway.
Of course at that point, you are very glad to have been paid for your hard work. However, in the end you realize that you are not making enough money to offset the BEATING that you are giving yourself!
In other words, stop stressing and give yourself a Raise!
Kudos, and thanks again Barb.
Wise words, Barb! We've got several deals going on right now, and a few of them are NOT exactly what you'd call going smoothly! Just when you thought all the fires are put out, another one flares up and needs attention. We like things to go smoothly, but no matter what you do, STUFF always happens! We're trying not to stress as much, but it's hard when you have so much invested. We'll have to work harder on de-stressing! Thank God for wine and hot tubs!
The 'AA Prayer' comes in handy sometimes to deal with stressful situations. My mom kept this on her bedstand when dealing with her divorce from my dad:
Keeping this simple passage in mind whenever stress rears its head can really help!
Thank you Barb! I just woke up to an implosion on an escrow I have for my seller's and this is just what I needed to read. Life is too short!! :)
Lottie, Don't forget chocolate! LOL
Jenny, Sounds like you have it under control!
Ron and Alexandra, I have never tried yoga but I think I will put it on my list.
Karen, I think what you said is key "when we do something wrong" but when we havent' it's time to let go.
Jenna, Yes! If we have properly informed our buyers and sellers then we should be able to de-stress
Mo, I think you just said it better than I did! We are often harder on ourselves than our clients are on us.
Pat and Wayne, I try to work on this every day. God does not want us to be worried or anxious.
Michael, I love that prayer because it is simple, yet powerful.
Debbie, Just focus on the solution and be the calm one.
Gary, So true. Another one I like is "If He brings you to it, He will see you through it."
It is difficult not to stress since we usually are holding someone else's life plans in our hands. Glad you were able to get some good advice from an attorney. Taking actions such as this is better than just sitting it out.
You are so right. I once had a deal that was so stressful, for a year afterward I cringed every time the phone rang. Not a good thing for a real estate agent! And none of my worries came to pass. None!
Barb, when working on 100% commission with $0 salary, and the responsibility of looking after other peoples biggest source of wealth their home, and dealing with the insecurity of a fragile schizophrenic economy it's sometimes hard not to stress over deals. But that's where daddy's evening sip of joy juice comes in. ;-)))
Great blog. My mantra is to do the best humanly possible and leave uncontrollable circumstances to higher authority. Be thankful when it happens and be patience if it doesn't.
Agreed stress is very bad. Pick several activities that take less than 30 minutes to do. When stress is building up, step back from your day and complete one of the activities.
Barb, you could not be more right, let come, what will, let it be, what will be, Life comes along and disrupts everything~it is what it is, ENJOY! :)
Jackie, I agree but once you have done all you can, it's time to try to put it out of your mind.
Joetta, A year??? OMG that might have killed me. Hope you found some ways to cope with it and I am glad it all worked out.
Bob, You describe a very stressful situation but clearly you where to find joy in your life. Your baby is beautiful.
@Pacific Coast, I totally agree.
Aaron, Great advice and I will be hopping on my treadmill shortly:)
Barb,
Thanks for sending such a "grounding" post to us all. Sometimes we do get wrapped up in the stress of it all, and for what!?! Not a good thing. I have a membership at the YMCA and sometimes go weeks without participating in my favorite activity there, which is swimming. You know, everything a get back into that swing of things....swimming regularly......all things in my life seem to come together much better.
I'm going to stop writing now, and take your advice and go the the "Y"!
I've got this one bad. I stress for all parties I think. And then I'll call the other agent and it sounds like they're on vacation!!?? No cares, no worries...and I think wow what am I doing wrong. Thanks for the reminder to chill. I need to learn to find comfort in the fact that I always do the best I can!
Barb,
Well said. I've been stressing over a transaction that can fall apart at any minute. However, I know that I have done everything I can and have done it right. Stress does kill, but it can also make you stronger if you handle it the right way and not let it get the best of you.
You're right Barb. Sometimes we need to see someone who REALLY has a problem to realize how small the wrinkles in our real estate transactions are in comparison.
Aren't we professionals? Stuff happens, people are late with things, thats life.
My brother recently suddenly died of a heart attack at age 41, life can be short, my new motto is be a duck and let things roll off your back.
Thank you Barb! I must admit that I am quite a worrier and I often have to take a step back and put things in perspective as you mentioned. When it comes down to it, if you remember the things that are truly important in life all of your worries seem to shrink...
Good for you Doug. As I mentioned already, I am back to exercising and it feels good to do something for myself.
Gary and April, I am guilty of the same thing. We have to work on it but it is especially hard if you feel the other agent is not working. Then it all falls on you to get done.
Phil, Sounds like you have been doing this a while!
Well said Kate!
Sarah, So sorry for your loss:( I like your new motto!
Jami so true. As I mentioned, waiting to find out if there is going to be a lawsuit cannot compete with waiting to hear if you have cancer.
Excellent advice! It is a nice reminder every once in awhile- Just take a step back and go from there;) Have a wonderful day!
Thanks Shanna. You do the same!
I love this post-- and it is a timely one! Waiting to hear back on a counter-offer this afternoon.... hoping and praying for good news! But trying not to stress.... Thanks! Kathy
So easy to say - so hard to do. We had two different deals crash last year that would have made a huge difference in our bottom line. Long, cold winter, very few buyers - now, we are in the process of starting our own company...but, tomorrow is a new day and there will always be somebody who needs to move. We just have to make sure we are the ones they choose to work with. Thanks for the encouragement.
There is a balance that is hard to achieve. I am really getting better with the balance of it all.
Hi Barbara - You are so right. Why is it that human nature always causes us to think the worst? I'm still "training" myself to have faith. Just last week I let two of my real estate transactions get the best of me. Even though I knew I was doing the best job I could on each of them. Too bad the squeaky wheel gets the grease and my wonderful clients were nearly forgotten! Your post hit home with me in so many ways! Thank you.
Hi Barbara, Great post and so true. Life, work and family is a balancing act!
We have been working on many short sales and we recently lost our first one to foreclosure. When our seller's lives are so negatively impacted because the lenders can't respond in a timely manner, it is very stressful. The successful agents are the ones that care, but let it go and move on to something they can control. God works in mysterious ways, but he always has a plan.
Kathy, Hope you got the deal. I am waiting on one today.
Eileen, Sounds like you are on the right track and best of luck with your new business.
Gene, Most days I think I am too.
Diane, It's good to assess our thoughts and actions once in a while. Good for the spirit!
Roshan, Sometimes like being on a tightrope!
@Davidson Realty, sorry about the short sale but you are right..God has a plan.
Barb, so true but some weeks, when 2 or 3 go south or back room shennanigans occur, it is hard not to shake your head.
Ty
You are so right Barb. I REALLY need to take your advice because I have been stressing a lot!
Hi Barb ~ Wow! You really struck a chord with this post. It's so hard not to get emotionally entangled in our clients' transactions. I'm right along side them during the roller coaster ride. I love Michael's advice about the serenity prayer - it sure fits in our line of work.
Liz
It is a wonderful prayer Liz. I like that along with Footprints!
Good attitude to have. Too bad sombe buyers and sellers look at a laid back agent as a lazy agent.
In my early years I used to stress all the time but I have learned it is not worth it!
Great advice! I'm pretty laid back, and usually don't stress about deals, but it's always good to be reminded again. Thanks for taking the time to post!